29 October 2012

Tomo Tuesday: A new approach


by Andy McGowan | CRO Contriubutor

Award winning journalist Alex Thomson – he doesn’t like Rangers much. Over the months on his blog he has lurched from one moronic moment to another: Whether it be wasting police time or mocking the Ibrox disaster, what you are guaranteed with a Tomo blog is that he will do his very best to bait Rangers fans with the sensationalism of half-truths, and tall tales from discredited social workers.

His latest assault on Rangers fans came when somehow Phil Alex convinced Channel 4 to take a break from filming Hollyoaks and shine the light on the ‘secret ring of intimidation’ by the ‘Rangers underclass,' or in layman's terms, “Here’s some things bad men said to my new pals on twitter.”

Channel 4 is known for its ground breaking documentaries such as The Undateables - in which people with severe mental and physical disabilities try to fuck each other - and fine programming such as Embarrassing Bodies, where people with no concept of the NHS get their mangled cocks out on camera in front of Doctor Christian, who suffers from a rare disease which means his shirt is always 4 sizes too small for him.

So of course Channel 4 jumped at the chance to allow Alex and friends to turn their wee molehill into a mountain.

Any reasonable human being watching would say, “What disgraceful behaviour from these internet bampots, but why has an award winning journalist like Alex Thomson, he who braves war zones to report the news to me, wasted his time on this? Every football club has these idiots and they do much worse than make threats online.”

Sadly Channel 4’s demographic isn’t reasonable human beings; it’s for people who want to watch disabled people trying to fuck each others brains out and watch morbidly obese women getting their misshapen tits up for the good Doctor C.

Oh, and people who think Alex Thomson is still a serious journalist.

Sadly football in the United Kingdom has an undercurrent of idiots who use the internet as their weapon and football clubs as their banners to abuse and threaten people. Every club has these idiots and they do not represent the views of any particular set of fans in this country, the vast-majority of whom are decent, educated, well-mannered fans of a game.

Thankfully we don’t have anything like the problems that South American, Russia, and Eastern European countries such as Poland and Serbia have, where assault, racism and murder go hand in hand with supporting a football club. I know this, you my educated well informed reader know this, and even award winning journalist Alex Thomson knows this.

Many have tried to raise similar issues with Tomo but they are wasting their time. There is nothing more dangerous than a man whose convictions are borne from his own delusions. Having a reasonable debate with Alex Thomson about football and in particular Rangers is akin to convincing a creationist that evolution is fact. (Although SPL fans evolving into empty plastic seats before our very eyes will surely be enough to end that debate.)
Not going anywhere

Listen, and understand: Alex Thomson is out there. He can't be bargained with. He can't be reasoned with. He doesn't feel pity, remorse or fear. And he absolutely will not stop, ever. Alex Thomson is simply bullet proof, as are all delusional morons. Any reasoned argument put to this man, any insult or jibe will deflect off him. He’s an award winning journalist, he knows best!

My suggestion friends is that you do exactly the opposite of what this man wants. Alex and his cohorts want nothing more than to provoke you into insulting and threatening him. He needs you to do this to make his ridiculous views credible. He wants every fair minded Rangers fan to take to twitter to threaten him with violence. He has built his house on quick sand and while he shacks up with Phil Three Names inside he wants you to make the foundation solid for him. Do not take the bait.

Instead I propose this – On Tuesday, every Rangers fan will go on twitter, on Facebook, on forums and phone-ins, and praise Alex Thomson on his fantastic award winning journalism. Be nothing but polite and almost sycophantic to this man. Be the bigger men and in doing so make him sick to his stomach.

No threat or insult will infuriate this man as much as the knowledge that he hasn’t got to you; let's spread the word about Tomo Tuesday. Trolls like Alex Thomson feed on your annoyance; stop feeding him.

In his next exclusive Alex is exposing the truth behind Wigan supporting African terrorism by signing Kony. Be sure to praise him for it and make sure he reports it to the police. Surely they have to believe him.

He’s an award winning journalist after all. Did I mention that?

Andy is a regular contributor to the CRO. He can be found on Twitter at @iEmpire_Andy and via email: amcgowan@thecoplandroad.org