19 April 2013

Regan and Doncaster: Are you two still here?

The leaders of Scottish football have continually let the fans down.

What's next for the wonder duo in charge of the sport?

by Peter Ewart | Contributor

Neil Doncaster: "This is the chief executive, Neil A Doncaster, and I am in charge of this situation." 

Stewart Milne: "Oh, you're in charge? Well, I got some bad news for you *Neil*, from up here it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit." 

Doncaster: "You listen to me, you little asshole, I'm..."

Milne: "Asshole? I'm not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, *Neil*. Now, you listen to me, jerk-off, if you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the problem. Quit being a part of the fucking problem and put the other guy back on!"

This isn’t the transcript of a conversation on Monday night after the farce of the SPL rejecting the SPL’s reconstruction proposal, but it should be. You could easily substitute Stewart Regan for Doncaster, as the two have been interchangeably incompetent.

We’ve been here a dozen times before and we’ll be here a dozen times again if we have to until the toxic two-some have stepped away from destroying Scottish football. They are a big part of the problem, they have made that problem a lot worse and them clinging on their vastly overpaid positions is prolonging the agony.

Their reign has struck terror into many a club and Scottish football as a whole. It’s fucking incredible that Doncaster can say he still has work to do after a humiliating defeat on Monday. What, like secret TV deals and making Peter Lawwell cups of coffee and making a complete cunt of the reconstruction proposals? Oh, I forgot, Lawwell’s not part of the SPL executive, except of course when he all but is if something important is coming up, like the secret Sky deal last year, or the public bullying on non-compliant clubs ahead of the vote on reconstruction.

Not content with Doncaster having made an arse of it, Regan’s SFA is trying to get involved to sort the whole mess out. It’s like trying to put a fire out with a flame-thrower, Why try to ram through something that has already been rejected. And who’s on the Professional Game Board of the SFA? Well, usual suspects springs to mind…

Chairman: Rod Petrie (Scottish FA)

Members: Jim Ballantyne (SFL), Neil Doncaster (SPL), Peter Lawwell (SPL), David Longmuir (SFL), Alan McRae (Scottish FA), Campbell Ogilvie (Scottish FA), Stewart Regan (Scottish FA), Sandy Stables (SHFL) and Ralph Topping (SPL).

Is their intervention going to solve the problem? Is it fuck. Outside mediation from an umbrella sports body or another sport altogether would be a useful step forward. And the SPL need bloody mediation before the SFL can even get involved. Maybe Milne and Gilmour can go to Relate.

You would think that Milne, Thompson and co might realise that with season tickets to sell it may just be the time to jettison the useless Doncaster and instead listen to their fans. They’ve been badly let down by Doncaster and na├»ve and wreckless in the extreme if they’ve supported the proposals on blind faith, without demanding the details of the TV deal they may not have seen, but then desperate men take desperate measures.

The Arab support will no doubt be reminding Thompson about what he said in June last year: "You can't ignore fans, any business which ignores its customers is doomed to fail". Really? Time to prove it, lower the prices and get the punters in the door (no sniggering please).

Milne has effectively declared he’s beaten before he starts by closing half a stand. Sheep and Arab fans should be tearing strips off their respective chairmen. They were listened to last year, but ignored this time around. What a difference a season makes. Other fans should be asking their clubs why their clubs ignored them and ask Milne why he blocked the change to the 11-1 voting system. Ah well you reap what you sow. I doubt there’ll be problems with season ticket sales at St Mirren and Ross County.

Ross McAdam ably dealt with the lesser-spotted Stewart Regan’s report card here. The not-so-bold Stewart has been nowhere to be seen as the game lurches from crisis to crisis. Has he even been to Dunfermline this season? No bloody wonder he wants a line drawn under everything and move on, because that way we wouldn’t be digging to see exactly when he knew Craig Whyte wasn’t paying HMRC or why the fit and proper tests were non-existent.

They are not football men. They seem unable to understand the fans nor have any vision of how fans can become more involved. Christ, I even found myself agreeing with Jim Spence’s tweet last night:

"A thought. An open meeting with SFA and SPL & SFL with fans reps and Media and social media in attendance. Democracy in action?"

You could sell tickets to that one.

Regan and Doncaster have not been able to deliver any positive results for the Scottish game. But then they don’t have to. They get their fat salary regardless of what chaos is going on around them.

Bungle and the Invisible Man seem very keen on Rangers and Scottish football moving on. Not half as keen as we are to see the back of them. If you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem.