26 June 2013

The hive mentality of the Rangers-obsessed Dunderheids

by Scott Ferguson | Guest Contributor

It has been quite a while since I penned any sort of opinion piece and for good reason. My ‘opinions’ of recent would simply be unprintable.

However, having recently rediscovered a lost favourite word I now feel much calmer about things.

So, to the Celtic Blogging Community I give thanks for the bringing the word ‘Dunderheids’ back into my life.

Because make no mistake about it: ‘Dunderheids’ is exactly what every single one of you obsessed lot are. 

The internet is a beehive of Dunderheid Bees all buzzing around in organised chaos with each one striving to be the one who brings their share of poisoned pollen back to their Queen.

Now, the ‘Queen Bee’ as if you would need to be told is our old pal Phil MacGoogleBhain.

There have been many opinions printed over the last few years about MacGoogle – whether that be from other bloggers, National Press or the common man. Unless you are one of his worker Bees the opinions have been less than complimentary.

Now I’ll give mine.

Phil MacGoogleBhain is a Dunderheid.

The ‘new club’/‘old club’ debate is at the forefront again and The Queen Bee and his workers are buzzing in their monotonous tones in what they would try to pass off as a crusade for honesty!

Who are you trying to kid?

I feel for you guys I truly do: years of chasing will take their toll and I could only imagine the pain in being the chaser in a race where you knew that no matter how hard you tried you would never catch up, never mind take the lead.

I mean who in all honestly would want to be known as the second best club in Scotland?

A little over a year ago a glimmer of light could be seen. Rangers were fighting for their very existence and then you had a realisation that there was an opportunity here! A chance to finally catch up, a chance to end the chasing. Showing your true colours you waited with Jelly and Ice Cream and baited breath to celebrate the momentous achievement of winning by default!

Winning by default – this is what each and every one of the Rangers hating bloggers are fighting so hard each and every day to achieve.

Sad, isn’t it?

Alas, there was no celebration. The ice cream melted before it could be enjoyed and the jelly dissolved into a gooey pool of disappointment.

Rangers are still here, and anyone that matters is telling you that not only are we the same club with 54 titles but that quite simply there isn’t even a debate.

Whether it be a judge from the high courts of Scotland, the ECA, SFA, SPL, UEFA or (ahem – facepalm) the ASA they are all telling you the same thing.

You are still chasing.

But with a steadfast determination you continue to bring knives to a gunfight – with quotes from the Daily Record, spin from Charles Green and uneducated views from former footballers as your ammunition.

How long this will go on for is anybody’s guess but eventually all the pollen from our bonny Scottish flowers will be picked dry and there will be nothing left to take back to the Queen Bee except for your own hate filled opinions.

And as they say opinions are like assholes everyone has one – unfortunately for you your opinions in the grand scheme of things mean completely nothing.

No amount of boycotts or internet petitions are going to change a single thing and if you simply took a minute to truly think about it you would realise that if it was indeed going to be declared by the powers that be that Rangers are not the Rangers you have been chasing for all these years then it would have happened by now.

It hasn’t, and it won’t

The best thing you could do is enjoy the fact that right now for the first time in years the chase is actually a successful one. Albeit with devalued titles in a top flight devoid of competition, but no matter. The fact is in Rangers’ absence from the top flight you are indeed closing the gap.

Why not simply take heart from that and enjoy it as much as you can?

Alternatively, you can continue to buzz away and then before you know it Rangers will be back in the top flight and that gap might start to grow again.

What is quite laughable though is that you are all so blinded by your hateful campaign that you don’t even realise that there are many on your side that don’t share the same goals. So many of your own are not fighting for morality or supposed ‘sporting integrity’ – they are simply in this for personal gain. Whether that be to gain some sort of celebrity status amongst your support (whatever that is worth) or, for example, in the instance of your Queen Bee to pay their mortgage.

I digress.

As always, We Welcome The Chase – the question is do you have the fortitude or the will to take us up on the offer? 

Or do you Dunderheids want to continue chasing rainbows?