26 March 2014

Alexander Easdale Will Have His Revenge on Mountain View

By Dail Carnayegay | Guest Contributor

Having successfully defeated the social networkz by vanquishing the evil Zuckerberg and stealing the gold from his lair – and in turn taking over the contract on the Facebook campus bus route – Alexander ‘Sandy’ Easdale has chosen his next target. And this time it’s Stanford serious.

It’s Sandy Easdale v Google.

(Editor’s note: Google search can and will bring different results tailored to your individual ways and lifestyle choices, so some of you may care to give this a miss lest you find some videos we really don’t want to see passed around the Internet)

Let’s imagine you have some spare time on your short commute and wish to take advantage of the free Wi-Fi on your McGill’s bus. You think to yourself, “I’d like to find out some more about Mr. Sandy Easdale.”

Type in his name and the following appears – note the heavy STV bias and something about vat, which is probably related to va-va-vooms across traffic. Also pay careful attention to the pictures wherein is demonstrated his (super?) abundant head-bush and clear sense of style.

But, in true Sesame Street meets Prince fashion, what happens if, as the bus enters another street, you try another letter of the Alphabet?

A brings up Age (he’s younger than you’d imagine) and B points towards buses. So far, so staunch.

Is Sandy a C word? Well, here’s where it gets a little difficult.

I’m sure someone can sort that out for Sandy. Moving on, as we near Glasgow City Centre we come to D and the prescription-based remedy to soothe some distressing (and now former!) reading habits.

E and F are slim pickings so what about G? Or indeed J?

K brings to mind all sorts of bad Crufts jokes but none at all about women.

The bus is nearly at Buchanan, but there’s just time for O and none AT ALL FOR S (and we can guess what T and V will be).

I’m sure you will agree that this seems to form some sort of organised pattern of victimisation and indicates an institutional bias against Mr. Easdale while clearly indicating that scurrilous rumour and innuendo are destroying modern society.

At least I didn’t have time to get to W, because he might not be a damn Tory but he sure as hell’s no W(h)ig!