07 October 2014

Once, There Was a Donkey...

by Chris Graham | Contributor

Once, there was a donkey.

The donkey was content roaming around, being a donkey, but we here at the CRO felt that the donkey needed a home so we took it in, sheltered it, fed it lovely carrots and for a while the donkey was happy. But the donkey had a bit of an ego and the donkey was a bit gullible. The donkey believed in sky fairies and money trees and it soon became apparent that the donkey and the rest of the CRO stable could not get along.

The donkey met a tiny, rotund jockey, with Cuban heels, who told the donkey that he could make the donkey famous. The jockey had let himself go and was really in no fit state to ride anything but the donkey had never been ridden before so it didn’t know any better.

The jockey realised that the donkey wasn’t very bright and was very low maintenance. The jockey didn’t even have to feed the donkey carrots. The jockey could literally feed the donkey any old shit and the donkey would do whatever the jockey wanted.

So the tiny little jockey with Cuban heels rode the donkey around and the donkey was content. The jockey introduced the donkey to his benefactor - a scary looking, big chap with his own company who agreed to sponsor the donkey. The jockey told the benefactor that the donkey would not only eat shit and like it but the donkey would do whatever you told it to do as long as you made the donkey believe that it was a magnificent racehorse.

The jockey and his benefactor made the donkey perform on the beach and the donkey was too stupid to realise that nobody actually believed that it was a magnificent racehorse. More and more people came to see the donkey. The donkey thought that the people were marvelling at its brilliance but they just came to ridicule it.

The people tried to warn the donkey that the jockey and his benefactor were making the donkey look stupid but the donkey wouldn’t listen. People called the RSPCA but the jockey just told them that the donkey was content and when they asked the donkey it just kept warbling about money trees and how much it loved the jockey.

So, dear reader, spare a thought tonight for the gullible donkey and don’t be too harsh on it when you next see it perform.

Read the inspiration to this spellbinding story here.