30 August 2018

Good God Almighty WTF Am I Doing?


The CRO returns! Or something.

Welcome back to the fun, folks. After a couple-three-whatever mostly-dormant years, I've brought the CRO out of the mothballs and decided to return it to its spectacular glory of dick jokes, ill-informed commentary, possible podcasts and all the other crap that brought you here in the first place.



What am I gonna do? No clue. Who else is coming along for the ride? Hopefully, no one, if they know what's good for them. Will there be lions? Please lord, let there be lions. Am I actually going to talk about the football? Probably not very well.

Why now, you may be asking? Well, there's just been an absolute abundance of jackassery in the media around Rangers and the fear that the glorious Steven Gerrard (who I have always always loved and never once ridiculed during his time at Liverpool or in MLS, ever) and his side have returned to the Scottish football scene. Basically, I'm just following the blueprint the gaffer has laid out for our club: do fuck all for years and then just come back in guns-a-blazing and setting fire to souls all over the place.

So, that's sort of my plan: just go back to dragging people over the idiocy Rangers seems to compel them to take part in. Say, like, getting fired from pretty much the same gig multiple times (without any sort of reason or logical explanation for why you had it in the first place) and then having the temerity to blame people you've called the klan for their reveling in your plight, or ignoring that your prime accomplishment was outing a gay person without their consent. Or, say, like being someone rushing to the defense of such a person without taking the time to inform yourself of any of the circumstances around such a thing. If such a thing were to happen, of course; this is all purely hypothetical and not based on any kind of situation that has unfolded over the past few days.


Plus, I might take time to discuss government officials abusing their power in blatant attempts to harm the longterm prospects of Rangers, while at the same time giving sweetheart land deals to other clubs for literally the same type of proposal our board put forward. And then I could highlight the circus act said government officials are partaking in to cover their asses when such efforts come to light. Again, all hypothetical.

And, if I can be bothered, I might talk about the football sometimes. I usually like to leave my half-dozen interesting comments on such things for my semi-annual appearance on Heart and Hand, but we'll see how it goes. I'll also go back through the archives and return some of The Banter Years™ material to the site, just to sit as a kind of historical record of that particular level of hell we were all stuck in. Humility serves no one if it's not kept within reach at all times.

In conclusion, welcome back, goddammit.

–Shane